Meetings

Attending meetings is paramount to my sobriety.  There has not been a meeting where I have not gleaned something I can apply to my life.  I hope my sharing has the same impact on others.  That said, yesterday and today are prime examples.

Yesterday our topic was based off the Daily Reflections for November 7th, Let Go and Let God.  Being relatively new to sobriety, 68 days as of this second, I still have at times have difficulty letting go and giving things over to my Higher Power.  It was with great relief that I heard from Old Timers that still struggle with that exact issue.  I pray and meditate at least twice a day.  What I learned from them is that sometimes more prayer is needed.  It doesn’t matter where you are or what you are doing.  Stop for a minute or two and just tell God, “I can’t deal with this on my own.  I am giving it to you.  Show me your will so that I can do the right thing.”  Then it is up to me to pay attention to my heart and feelings for action or sometimes even inaction.

Today’s topic was “what brought you into AA”.  For me personally, this isn’t my first rodeo trying to ride the bucking bronco that is sobriety.  I have been in and out for the last 8 years.  Never for more than a few weeks.  Usually for just a few days before I decided that I needed to do more research to determine if I had a drinking problem.  I attended several different groups but thought all of you were assholes and you didn’t have a clue what I was dealing with.  I am unique.  Just ask me!  This time around though, I have finally figured out that I am NOT unique in that regard.  I also figured out that I am the asshole not y’all!  This morning I heard from several who had a similar journey as mine.  Multiple rehabs, multiple times in and out of the rooms, multiple run-ins with our boys in blue etc….  You get the picture.  I am sure many of you reading this have similar stories as well.  The long and the short of it is; we are unique people, yet we are not unique in our troubles or how we choose to address those troubles.

God Bless and GET to a meeting.

2 Comments

  1. This is a great blog, for many reasons. Thank you for sharing so candidly. I can relate with the need to assume I am unique in my journey while judging others harshly in meetings. I believe it is a coping mechanism we as addicts employ to protect our ego, and therefore continue to feed the disease. It was a relief to let my judgments go, as well as realize that I am unique in many ways, but that I was struggling with the same illness that infects millions– a chronic, relapsing brain disorder that has ruined lives, destroyed families, and terrorized communities all while charading as an acceptable, traditional habit of a happy culture.
    But you’re right– there is great help out there. Meetings provide support, roadmaps (so to speak), and an alternative to the life that no longer serves you. And take it from me, if you find yourself sitting in judgment of others, convinced of your exceptional uniqueness, it might be time to take a second look at how those thoughts are REALLY serving you, and if it is possible that they come from the desperation of a disease trying to hang on.

    1. Author

      Thank you for the kind words!

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