I am a firm believer in AA and what it can do for a person. I have been in and out of the rooms of AA for the last 10 years. I never really wanted to be there or had any intentions of putting in the effort required to accomplish sobriety. There were times I showed up at meetings after drinking on the way there and times I stopped on the way home afterwards. Because of that, among many other reasons which I have detailed in other posts, it has taken me 10 years to maintain any sense of sobriety. As of this writing, I have been sober for 135 days! I owe that to 3 things and 3 things only. First and foremost, is my Higher Power whom I chose to identify as God. Second is the Fellowship of AA and last but certainly not least are my Family and Friends. At differing times of the day, these 3 rotate positions. It just depends on what is going on in my life and mind at the time.
All of that said, this post is primarily about the 9th step promises and how they have begun to come true in my life. I am not to step 9 right now. Almost but not quite. The halfway through that the first line talks about is the making of the 9th step amends. However, I am seeing them start to materialize now and I am only half way through the steps! Honestly when I read through them, they have all come true whether in part or in whole. The one that is the impetus for this post is the fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us. I haven’t really had a fear of people, but the fear of economic insecurity was starting to creep into my thoughts. I have been out of work for 5 months and my unemployment runs out in 3 months. As long as we have the unemployment coming in, we are ok financially. We can pay our bills and do what needs to be done. That will be ending quicker than you can imagine. I began looking for a new job right before Christmas. Knowing that it is a slow time for hiring in the corporate world. I am in IT so there is always a demand but it does get slow at the end of the year. I had a few phone interviews but nothing materialized. Until a week ago! A position I had interviewed for called me in for a face to face interview. I was excited and nervous. I don’t doubt my ability to do the job, my nervousness stemmed from being so short in sobriety. Was I ready for this step? Would I screw it up again? Most of you know the questions. And as usual I don’t have the answers. I know what I want them to be.
When I got to the building, the location looked familiar. Then it hit me. Ten years ago when I first went to treatment, they would take us to AA meetings. One of the ones they took us to is literally right across the street from my new office! So if I am having a rough day, I can walk 50 yards to a noon meeting! If that isn’t God stepping in and saying “I gotcha on this” then I don’t know what is! The great news is that I started that new job today. I began my day with a meeting at 630 since I didn’t have to be in the office until 9am. It was a great meeting. The topic was “Upon Awakening”. How appropriate is that for my first day at a new job? Things keep falling into place. I know as long as I don’t drink today, I will have a job to come to tomorrow.
I truly hope and believe the Promises will continue to come true in my life and hope the same for you!
God Bless and Stay Sober Today
So happy for you!!
The promises are true for me, too!
I’m sorry to AA but I cannot tell a lie to the newcomers anymore. I’m talking about “The Promises” of AA. None of any of this has come true for me after almost 11 years of sobriety and wasting an hour of my life every day sitting in those meetings doing nothing. I regret all the time I wasted there – I might have had a life otherwise. I’m 58 now and it is too late for me. 20 years gone like a flash and all I did was work and live alone. Should I blame God or AA? Here are the lies newcomers are told when they first enter the program:
The AA Promises
1.If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through (yeah you will be amazed at how many people bounce in and out of the program relapsing constantly and then coming back to the meetings and making up phony rationalizations about why they “went out” again) – NOTE – I have never even thought about alcohol or drugs since I got sober for almost 11 years now but evidently this means nothing. You get all the attention if you keep relapsing??
2.We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. (Maybe – maybe not) In my case I get more depressed about where my life is today the longer I stay sober and I have to see other people I know in the program make it and have anything in life – so be prepared for that.
3.We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
Rubbish – you will regret ever being an alcoholic to start with for the rest of your life it will follow you and you will be judged for it by anyone you are stupid enough to let know about your alcoholism – regardless of recovery.
4.We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. Nonsense – the only “serenity” I have ever known is at the end of a liquor bottle. I don’t know what kind of serenity the AA program is even talking about. Evidently the guy that wrote this never lived in Red Bluff CA and got stalked and assaulted by a psychotic meth addict for 4 years straight and then have to fight eviction on account of the assault incident he did to you. This is the reality of living sober in a Town full of meth addicts.
5.No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
I don’t see how my experience could benefit anyone when I’m still suffering from malnutrition. I just lost 30 lbs from not eating right.
6.That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
No it won’t – you will observe other people getting over this self-pity which will make you feel even worse because it won’t happen for you – evidently you aren’t praying to the right “Higher Power”.
7.We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
Yeah if you are a homo. I gained interest in females but nothing ever happened and never made a single friend out on one of them after 20 years in the program. The women need to “gain interest in their fellows”!! LOL
8.Self-seeking will slip away.
Unless after 20 years of working full time for 4 different companies and all your bills paid by social security and you still can’t afford to eat right. Then you will continue with “self seeking” in order to eat just one sandwich per day if you are lucky. The Dept. of Social Security will waste time and paperwork and staff resources to get you a State hearing and then deny you any food regardless of your circumstances. They don’t care – even homeless people get to eat better than I do and I still work 40 hours per week – for nothing.
9.Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
NO – your attitude and outlook will get worse – especially if you try that stupid “making amends” nonsense. I tried to make amends to my insane neighbor with the 30 year meth binge boyfriend stalking me and assaulting me – like I owed these pieces of garbage anything. What did they do – they vandalized my stairwell, then the next morning I got beat down next to my car by the meth addict. The Police and the management here did nothing – and then the woman filed a restraining order on me after her meth friend pounded me down and I’m in constant fear of eviction – how is THAT for “serenity”?? Sounds really serene doesn’t it?
10.Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
No it WILL NOT LEAVE YOU – it may actually get worse as in my case. I have been stalked and finally assaulted by an insane meth addict in my complex for 4 years now since I got sober 11 years ago. I can’t really say I fear him but his actions and the neighbors ganging up on me because all of this insanity with the meth here gave me a breakdown. I live in constant fear and stress of eviction since last August.
11.We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
No – you may THINK you know how to handle situations until you wind up with a meth addict or two as neighbors and the meth addicts come to your property and slash the tires on your brand new car. The only way I know of to handle that situation is “ULTRAVIOLENCE”!!
12.We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
I’ve always had faith in God. When I first got off of the drugs 20 years ago I was instructed to “surrender to a Higher Power”. Nobody at AA even knows what their “Higher Power” is or what his/her name is and it is against the AA rules to even mention his name because of the religious bigots and anti-christ losers in the meetings. Unfortunately mine was alcohol so I surrendered to booze because I thought it would be better than the drugs. 10 years later and 3 DUIs I finally got sober. It took 20 years of blowing around in the wind with no guidance or direction from the “Higher Power” before I finally realized that this Higher Power has NO POWER and is NOT God. I don’t blame AA for that – I was stupid to drink to start with and it was my own fault I ended up this way completely alone for 20 years following a phony Higher Power that could of actually been Satan.