I try to find something inspirational every day. It can come from many different places. My bible, my wife, my church, TV/Radio and especially my AA meetings. The last couple of days the topic in my meetings has centered on Step 11, which states:
“Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”
I am just now starting Step 4 in my journey this time around. As of today, I have 75 days sober. Needless to say, I am no where close to formally working Step 11. That said, I honestly work this step every day since I went to rehab. My wife and I pray EVERY morning and night. We also will pray throughout the day. Not together of course. She is at work and I am being a house husband while I get myself physically, mentally and spiritually straight. Sounds like a Boy Scout! Which I was! The meditation part is a little more difficult for me. The definition of Meditate according to Google is: “think deeply or focus one’s mind for a period of time, in silence or with the aid of chanting, for religious or spiritual purposes or as a method of relaxation”. I have tried guided meditation and some of them are ok, but for the most part, I can’t just shut my mind off. I read where someone said that their meditation is attending a meeting. After reading that, it actually makes perfect sense. My meetings force me to at times think deeply and definitely force me to focus for an hour. After which I am most definitely relaxed.
When it comes to the second part of Step 11, “for knowledge of His will for us “, I don’t always feel like I get the message from God. Yesterday, one of the men in my group said something that absolutely changed my thinking on that. He said “I don’t always know His will, but I know what His will is NOT!”. That sentence to me sums up that part of Step 11 perfectly. I may not know exactly what He wants me to do, but I am pretty damned sure I know what He DOESN’T want me to do!
During our meeting yesterday I heard several other nuggets of inspiration from my fellows. “I’m here because I’m not all here”. Could any phrase better describe the insanity of our disease? I don’t think so. Another was “I am a better person today than I was yesterday, but not as good as I will be tomorrow”. I think that is what we all strive for. To be the best man or woman that we can be. It takes work but we can do it one Step at a time! One final nugget is something my sponsor told me yesterday while we were working on Step 4. He told me that I need to “Get rid of contempt prior to investigation”. I am definitely guilty of not doing this. I can make my mind up about something before I know the whole story. I need to stay out of self and let God run my life!
God Bless and may you find your daily dose of inspiration!